An ass-kicking of epic proportions

What a freaking joke. Take away Ashley Judd, who keeps getting better with age, and there is absolutely nothing to take away from this game. Not even a single moral victory. From the opening tip until the 50th time they showed Laettner hitting his game-winner in 1992, it was a merciless kick to my Big Blue Manhood. I’ll let my rambling post do my talking, but let me explain.

I started to do a minute-by-minute running blog of this game like I did for the BCS Championship Game. Here is what happened:

9:04 They play that stupid arena song. Seriously, this song sucks and I don’t understand how it became the leading candidate to make Jock Jams 2K8.

9:06 Mark Coury does the first semi graceful thing I’ve ever seen. He pulls some sort of gay ballet move on his close-out. He puts his heels together and flails his hands together in mid-air. He then continues running past the rebound down the court. Not good.

9:09 Two fouls on Coury. 2:27 elapsed off of the clock. A quick exit - even for him.

9:11 This team looks seriously flustered. Someone needs to calm them down. Let’s see if they have a leader.

9:13 Ross Neltner already has 7 points. He’s obviously not happy with what I wrote about him today, but I still mean every word of it. It will take a lot more to convince me that he’s not a white stiff.

9:16 Fresh out of a timeout, we give up a 3 in a matter of seconds. I hope Billy Clyde didn’t draw it up that way.

9:17 AJ Stewart with the bucket? Really? OK, whatever.

9:17 Neltner. Son of a bitch.

9:19 Patterson is called for a travel. I’m glad they called that because I wasn’t sure he was even in the game or not. Now that we got that straight, maybe he can do something to get onto the stat sheet.

9:26 Patterson gets his second foul in two possessions. That will get you on the stat sheet, but that isn’t exactly what I meant.

9:29 Kentucky has 6 points. White post players have 16 for Vanderbilt. I’m starting to feel a little guilty.

9:33 At some point, they have to start defending the backdoor cut right? I mean, Vanderbilt can’t be wide open under the basket every time, can they?

9:35 Coury takes about 5 dribbles from half-court to the free throw line and throws a tipped bounce pass to Ramon Harris who is cutting back door with the appearance of not even expecting to get the ball. Somewhere, Pete Carril is looking for a gun.

9:38 In what appeared to be the first actual offensive play run by Kentucky the whole game, Ramon Harris is left wide-open under the basket. He promptly gets tossed and Vandy keeps the ball in bounds and takes it up the floor.

9:39 Three fouls on Patterson to go with 0 points and 0 rebounds. I guess Coury is rubbing off on him and not the other way around.

9:40 I just witnessed one of the most disappointing sequences I’ve ever seen in a basketball game. It started with Brad Nessler telling his “Dollar” Beal story, complete with a Southern, Ebonic accent. Then Ramel Bradley throws a one-armed alley-oop while running through the lane which bounces off of the backboard and leads to a fast break that ends with two Vandy players wide-open under the basket. Easy lay-up.

9:43 Ross Mother F*&king Neltner! Wide open under the basket! AGAIN!

9:44 Joe Crawford hit’s a free throw and the scoring drought ends at just under a decade. Jared Carter enters the game as the secret white stiff weapon. I hope he can go for 20 in the remaining 4 minutes of the first half.

9:46 Now, I now I throw around the phrase “I’ve never seen that before” a little too much, but I really have never seen that. We just got called for a 5 second call after the free throw when there was no press even on. There just wasn’t anyone who wanted the ball. Unbelievable.

9:47 Crawford takes a spill. Wouldn’t that be sweet if he got hurt too? Wouldn’t surprise me.

9:51 Piece ass Jimmy Dykes is already talking how he got a haircut today. That’s how bad it’s gotten. I don’t even care that he was gay enough to drop nearly $40 on it. It’s just the point that the game is that irrelevant.

9:51 A Kentucky field goal? Really? I forgot what they were. Look at the time I posted about A.J. Stewart scoring. That’s a gap of 34 minutes. I’d call it terrible but I think that would be a compliment.

9:59 Finally, its over. 41-11.

I’m done blogging. I can’t do it. First of all, I think I’m jinxing them. Second of all, I think I’m already getting close to running out of synonyms for pathetic. A couple of first half notes for you:

- Patrick Patterson has one more point than me and just as many rebounds.
- Kentucky has never, in their infinity years of history, had such a low scoring half.
- The team had 3 field goals. That’s how many piece ass Lones Seiber had against LSU.
- Vandy’s white post players have outscored Kentucky’s entire team 20-11.

Second half summary:

This is like nothing I’ve ever seen. It’s a perfect storm. Vanderbilt is hitting everything. Every ball is bouncing their way. Kentucky is missing layups. They can’t dribble the ball. They can’t shoot. They can’t even pass the ball to a guy that is wide open. The most disheartening thing about this loss, though, is that Kentucky has completely abandoned everything that they’ve been doing successfully.

Ramel Bradley and Joe Crawford are driving more recklessly than Lindsay Lohan and neither one has shown any interest in getting the team to settle down and play their game. The already weak offense is completely non-existent and offensive sets have been replaced with standing around while someone drives aimlessly at the basket.

If you are going to get your ass-kicked beyond being able to come back in the second half, at least try to work on things that are going to make you better. Run your sets. Get up in someone’s face on D. What Kentucky put on the floor in the second half was a complete display of a “Lets just get the F out of here as soon as possible” attitude. That’s not a team I can't easily support - no matter what they have written across their chest.

I’m completely disgusted with this game and it has very little to do with the score. I’m not trying to say that the ass-kicking is something that can be tolerated, but it’s absolutely sickening to watch a team just completely give up. Instead of coming out in the second half and showing that they were still going to get in Vandy’s face and play the hard-nosed defense that sent them on their run lately, they just came out and went through the motions - and half-assed too. If I was Gillispie, I would have put in the walk-ons with about 15 minutes to go in the half. It’s not like a comeback was going to happen and Vandy called off the dogs and pulled their starters with 9:47 left in the game.

At this point, Kentucky fans, it looks like we’ve got a talent-deficient and oft-injured team. And if that isn’t bad enough, it’s one that gives up when faced with adversity. Let’s hope that something miraculous happens on that team bus tonight.